Breaking up is hard to do

Well, we didn't actually break up, it was more a drifting apart and I can't say that I'm sorry as I wasn't finding the relationship all that entertaining any more. We were each going in different directions and the future we were each choosing for ourselves didn't accommodate the other.
We met in 2005 when I was home recovering from surgery. I had a lot of time to devote to this relationship at that time and that's always fun in the beginning. I guess I should tell you now that this was not a person but a TV network, The Food Network and I was mesmerized. There was Rachel and Sandra, Ina and Giada, Bobby and Tyler, and Of course, Alton. It was TV on an intelligent level for the time, even the ads were a cut above, and there was cooking being presented in a manner that seemed possible for the time impaired. Rachel could do it in thirty minutes ( as long as everything was prepped before being put into the refrigerator and if you didn't mind carrying half of everything in your kitchen from one side to the other and all in one load). Sandra did it by opening bottles, jars, packets, cans, and any other type of prepared food packaging known to man but with a little bit of effort (that 30% homemade part) stirred in a bit of vanilla extract or whatever to make some chemical laden food taste like the real thing.
There was an incredible amount of information being tossed about with the vinaigrette and new-to-the-home-cook utensils that had yet to find their way into our kitchens. I now use my microplaner, spider, mini scoops, and tongs regularly and wonder how I managed without them. It was food as entertainment. Chefs were the new Rock Stars.
I don't remember exactly when disillusionment started to seep in. It may have been when I couldn't tune in without Rachel being in nearly every time slot, back to back to back Thirty Minute meals and then, whoops, there she is telling me how to eat on forty dollars a day in some upscale location and then, jeez, she has her own show a la Oprah and/or Martha Stewart. Too much, too often. Her motto should be "I'm talking and I can't shut up". This saturation of the airwaves, one chef at a time is very puzzling. Why would anyone want to watch Guy for four hours doing "Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives"? All that manic talking and eating is like like being made to eat only one food for days and days. Everything blurs together and with no variety there is no interest. There are enough chefs and formats on that network to schedule an infinite variety of program so why saturate my viewing with one chef at a time until I can no longer stand the sight or sound of him or her.
It's not easy to be "just friends" after such an intense relationship but we have come to an agreement that we'll restrict our contact to "Iron Chef America" and it seems to be working.